Those in Glass Houses
by RachelLovesYou6
Summary: In a desperate need to get her life straightened out, Clare Edwards tries to replace the negative with positive. But how can she do so when people are always putting her down- even the people she thought loved her the most? Throughout her quest to not only be happy, but to find love, she just might find herself a boy who she'd never expect to fall in love with. /trigger warning/


**There is a trigger warning here. This is and will be a dark Fanfiction throughout the whole story. **

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Clare Edwards stared out the window of her therapists house, staring blankly at the street as the cars passed by or children riding their bikes down the street. She smiled internally at the small kids playing ball and getting mad at one another for cheating or for not playing the game right. Sometimes, she'd even see couples walking down the sidewalk, their fingers laced together with their eyes glued to each others. Clare had always wanted someone to share that with, she always thought that someone would come into her life and love her more than anything. As her mind traveled deeper into the thought of being in love, something stopped her and reminded her that she will never have a boyfriend, that no one will over love her. All the scars on her body reminded her that she was fat, ugly, and literally insane. As soon as someone saw her, they'd run and never come back.

Though, there was one boy who she thought would change her perspective on life. He'd always smile at her when they passed each other down the street or in school. Maybe he was just a nice person and smiled at everyone he passed, or maybe he just did that to her and behind that smile was a smirk, dying to make fun of her for being so pathetic. Either way, Clare still liked him. The thought of him made her blush and made her heart skip a beat. During study hall, she'd sneak a small glance at him and memorize the way his jet black hair barely touched the collar of his jacket and the way his bangs swooped over his left eye. He had these amazing, bright green eyes that could light up an entire room and a smile that was to die for. He'd always be messing with the small bud in his lip, twirling the tiny metal loop around with his tongue.

"Clare..?" Dr. Collins voice pulled Clare's gaze away from the window. "would you like to tell me what happened the other night?" she asked in a fake worried voice which made Annie disgusted. Clare just looked down at her hands and played with the sleeves of her sweater.

"I have your hospital records, they said that you just checked out of the hospital two days ago for another suicide attempt. Is that true?"

Clare bit her lip harshly and looked down, her dark hair falling over her shoulders which helped her hide her face. Finally, as a attempt to make the therapist be quiet, Clare shrugged and then nodded- basically the only thing she does when Dr. Collins talks to her.

She heard the sound of the doctors notebook being closed and her shuffling to put her stuff away. "that's all we have for today, Clare. I'll see you next Thursday." Dr. Collins opened the door to her office and shut it behind her as she walked out. After Clare knew for sure that she was gone, she got up and exited the building from the window. She grunted slightly as she jumped down, but as she stood up, she saw the boy that she's been staring at during study hall sitting by a tree. She took in a breath and closed her eyes, counting backward from 5. She opened her eyes again, and this time, she saw the boy stand up and walk towards her with that smile plastered on his face.

"hi.." he said, a small dimple appearing on the corner of his mouth.

"h-hi.." her voice cracked, making her curse internally. Her face turned beet red as she looked down, rocking back and forth on her heels slightly.

The boy bit his lip and looked down. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Clare shrugged and started chewing on the inside of her cheek. She looked up slightly, seeing a name tag on his shirt. _Elijah Goldsworthy_. She looked up at Elijah, and then quickly walked passed him and down the sidewalk. She turned her head slightly, seeing him with his head down, staring at his feet. For a second, Clare felt sorry for him. She wanted so badly to go and wrap her arms around him and hold him. She wanted to cry in his arms with him, and hold his hand while staring deeply into his love filled eyes, but she couldn't. She was disgusting. She was nothing to Elijah- to nobody.

When Clare walked home, she saw a brown package sitting against the front door. A feeling of excitement rushed through her as she walked quickly to the glass door and picked it up. She shook it and smiled widely as she heard the metal rectangles hitting each other. She let out a breath and opened the door, running up to her room and closed her door, locking it. She jumped on her magenta bed sheets and ripped open the package. Clare let out a breath as she ran her fingers across the black box with flowery designs across the sides.

When she popped open the box, her eyes lighted up with desperate need and happiness. Her fingers danced along the small blades of sharp metal. She let out a breath and picked one up so she could move it between her fingers. She touched the sharp tip with her index finger, a small drop of blood coming from her finger. She smiled at how sharp the blade was. It was perfect. It would be perfect for her to use when she needed an escape. She brought her finger to her lips and sucked the small amount of blood slightly from her finger and then looked down at the remainder of the blades. Some smaller than the others, some were bigger. Clare liked the small ones the most because she could actually carry them around with her everywhere she went.

Slipping out of bed and walking over to her white vanity, she placed the tin box on the top and then used all the strength she had to scoot the vanity up some, just enough to squeeze herself through the back. When Clare turned 13, her stepdad threw her up against the wall, creating a medium sized dent in the wall. About a year later, she kicked the wall in more, creating a hole. Ever since then, she had hid her personal items inside the hole, including all her razors and everything she used to vent her feelings. After she put the box inside the hole next to a large bottle of pills and a small container of vodka, Clare slowly pushed her vanity back against the wall, covering the hole completely.

When Clare crawled back onto her bed, she pulled her laptop in front of her and opened it, her tumblr and facebook instantly popping up on her screen. When she clicked on the tumblr tab, black and white pictures of random people with cuts on their arms, thighs, and stomachs instantly filled the screen. Seeing all the pictures made the urge come to her. She closed her eyes and counted back from 10. Occasionally, that helped the urge go away when she felt like she needed to cut. When she opened her eyes again, she looked up at the other tab she opened and saw 'Facebook(1)' , indicating that she had a new notification. Hesitantly, Clare slowly brought her mouse over the tab and clicked it. After she clicked the link to take her to the notification, she saw a small box saying that someone had tagged her in a photo. She bit her lip softly, her mind racing of what the picture could be. Nerves filled her body because she knew that no one has ever taken her picture. She was very secretive about that, so she knew that no one would be able to do such a thing. When she clicked on the link to take her to the picture, the first thing she saw in big bold letters was, 'CLARE EDWARDS LOVES TO PUT OUT!' Clare gasped, her eyes already rimming with tears. She hesitantly scrolled down to see the picture, instantly seeing her face photo shopped onto a porn stars body. The one of the unknown girls hands was wrapped around some guys penis, with the other down and touching her private areas.

Her eyes wandered to the comments, seeing 100+ comments of people saying nasty things. Some boys were asking how much she would want for her to give them a blowjob, some were calling her an ugly whore, and some were asking where all the hideous scars were to go with her hideous body. Scrolling down more, reading each and individual comment, she read one from a familiar boy.

_Elijah Goldsworthy: I thought you were different, Clare. I guess I was wrong_

Clare sniffled and looked down, instantly shutting her laptop and then shoving it off her bed. She quickly got off the bed and walked to her vanity, pushing it out of the way and then grabbing the tin box. She opened the box and pulled out a random razor before walking into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. She opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out a container of bleach. After she pushed the plug down in the sink, she poured the bleach into the sink. She slowly leaned against the wall and then slid down the wall to floor. She shakily pulled down her pajama pants to her knees. Clare took the razor and pressed it to her inner thigh next to her knee and sliced her skin, her eyesight blurry with tears. As the blood rushed from the cut she made, relief came over her body, but it still wasn't enough for her. She make another cut, then another, then another… she didn't stop.

OO

Review please :3 Second chapter will be up soon


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